My First Encounter with the BYU Police

Mitch would be so proud of me- today I called in a suspicious-looking guy to the police. You might think that is a bit presumptuous of me to label someone as suspicious and then report them to the police. Well listen up and judge for yourself.

As I was opening up the computer lab in the Wilkinson center today at 7 am, a weird, and I do emphasize weird, old man in his late sixties appears around the corner, talking loudly to himself, staring at me with a freaky gleam in his eye, and actually scheming with his hands. When I say "scheming with his hands" I mean, that motion that you do with your hands when you're scheming, not twiddling your thumbs, but similar. Hopefully you get what I mean.

Anyway when I made eye contact with this old man, my heart went up into my chest. I have never felt so terrified in my life. Maybe you can relate better if I tell you that his whole demeanor was very Gollum-esque. In case you can't remember how extremely creepy Gollum is, let me refresh your memory.



It is scary how much he reminded me of Gollum. His very thin face, thin hair, and freaky gleam in his eye, not to mention, the fact that he was staring at me and TALKING TO HIMSELF, quite loudly and unashamedly while scheming with his very thin and bony hands, was enough to send me bolting into the lab and slamming the door behind me. I have never been so scared in my life. This sounds ridiculous, but the sheer terror I felt after making eye contact with him really convinced me that the man was deranged, even quite possibly possessed. Knowing that a lot of very strange homeless people hang out around the WILK because it's a main bus stop, I figured it wasn't unreasonable to think that he was a crazy homeless man out wandering around. I called the police right after. (I left out the possessed part in my report.) A police officer came down not three minutes later to talk to me about it. He asked me if the man I was referring to was in fact sitting on the bench outside the lab. I said yes, that's the one. The police officer nods his head understandingly, and said, "Oh that's so-and-so. He hangs around here a lot because he catches the bus to get to work at DI. I know him pretty well. He does talk to himself pretty loudly. I'm glad you called it in, he can definitely make people nervous."

hahahhaa he works at DI? Well that explains a lot...have you seen the people that work there? Anyway I did feel a little dumb. But there ya go. I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain that horribly scary feeling that I had when he looked at me, but that's what I did and I'm glad I did it.

The end.